There are Adventures and then there are Adventures!

I think the adventures that my husband and I are having may not be one in the same. Take today's events for example:

My husband is currently working very close to the Yemenese border. So close that he can see the homes in Yemen and compare them to the homes in Saudi Arabia. He flew out of Riyadh yesterday and will work where he is now working for a few days. This morning, he jumped into a car to start the day. The day started with 6 cars, 2 filled with engineer types and 4 filled with bodyguard types, hitting the road. They then went off road onto unpaved hilly terrain to survey the area. At times (as he relayed the experience to me) he was not sure if the vehicle he was riding in would manage the gradient it was encouraged to travel on. This went on for hours. Finally when they broke for lunch at 4:00pm he sat with a group of local border patrol ("These are simple people" I think were my husband's exact words) around a whole grilled lamb (he assumed) and started pulling the meat from the bones. When the special guests had finished, the lower ranks were allowed to eat the left-overs.

At this I asked, did you take pictures (I must admit, I fantasized a little about National Geographic with this story)?

I hope he is taking a moment to realize what a fantastic experience this really is...I wish I could've been there! Although, I probably would have started crying with the car ride!

Succombing to the Powers That Be

Ok, ok, it may not be the most interesting of topics and by now you may be yawning at the thought of reading yet one more entry about having or not having a driver...but, be forewarned, here I go:

So, today our driver-in-a-pinch showed up on time as scheduled. Picked up myself, my 5 year old and the baby. Drove us to nursery school where I dropped off the baby and then drove us to school to drop of the 5 year old.

On the way he asks me:

"You have no driver? I thought you had a driver?"

"No," I reply "we don't have a driver. We've been thinking about it but don't really know what we want."

"You want driver with accommodation or without?"

"Without"

"You want driver with car or not"

"Without"

"You tell me how much you pay, I'll drive, I have car, I have everything. You tell me how much?"

Now all of a sudden I am intrigued. Part of the reason the driver thing has been difficult for me is that, at the end of the day, it is myself and the kids spending time with the driver. I haven't been so keen on "trying out" driver after driver, getting to know, seeing if the kids like, etc. etc. a person that we will come to rely on. The entire thing makes me well, tired just thinking about it. But, this man we feel as if we know. He has been driving us from time to time over the entire time we have been here. When we were staying at the hotel in the beginning, he drove the kids and I everywhere...so, to me this doesn't sound like a bad idea. To top it off, he wouldn't have to drive our car and our 5 year old LOVES him!

So, what's the problem?

Part of the problem, for me, is simply the thought of having a driver. We already have a live-in maid and now we are considering adding a driver to the list of our household employees.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been talking to people trying to get information on what they have their drivers do, how much people pay, and so on, and so forth. I had one conversation that went a little something like this:

"Do you employ your driver yourself?"

"No, no, my husband's company provides a driver. Once you reach a certain level in the company they just give you one."

At this point I am already disappointed in the conversation and don't want to take it further. I am completely unimpressed. What do I care what your husband does or if a driver is included in his benefit package. Is it now my turn to give a detailed reporting of what my husband does? What is included in his package? Or what I do? It isn't a contest.....or, is it? If it is, it is certainly a contest I do not want to compete in. (But, now as I write this I see that it was I who asked the question. Am I overly sensitive? I do not want to become that person that can only talk about position as if trying to carve out some kind of pecking order. I am a social worker for goodness sake, you know empowering the vulnerable...what am I doing here with a maid and a maybe driver??)

Then, the friend --all the while admiring her newly manicured fingernails--pipes in.

"You'll find that they don't do anything. The drivers, the maids, you really have to stay on them all the time to get them to work."

(No, they don't do anything, they just leave their families to come here to make the minimalist of wages working unbelievable hours to clean up your

c -r -a -p!)

Then, woman no. 1 "Yes, we just seem to go through the maids and drivers. Although our nanny has been with us for years".

To this I can only reply in my kindest of voices, "Well, we aren't looking for a nanny, we can take care of our own children."

I politely thanked them for their time and left. That's it. I decided. There is NO WAY we are getting a driver.

This morning however, when we arrived at the compound which houses our 5 year old's school. I walked up to security and told them that I would like another pass so that driver-in-a-pinch could drive onto the compound. They informed me that they thought the 2 passes that I had (for the compound's drivers that pick up after school) were plenty and probably would not issue a 3rd. So...it is a problem. I need a driver for when hubby can't drop of at school and neither of the drivers from the compound that have a pass can do that. --and, everybody around me probably thinks I am crazy...JUST GET A DRIVER ALREADY!)

Fast forward a week after deciding to definitely NOT have a driver and I believe our driver-in-a-pinch is going to become our personal salaried driver. Oh the torment and relief all at the same time.

Another Week, Another Adventure

We've been contemplating getting a driver. I must admit, I have a difficult time with the idea. Nine times out of ten we really don't need a driver, but there is that one time where I find myself thinking "Why don't we have a driver?!!" Today is one of those days.

The man of the house, had to go out of town for work again. So, as we face the start of a new week I am left wondering how to make things happen without a car. Dad usually takes the 5 year old to school in the mornings. I usually walk the baby to nursery. So, I thought well, I'll just call the compound and arrange a car for the morning to take us all to nursery and then to school. Nope. No can do. No cars available until 8:45.

Ok, no problem, I'll call our "driver in a pinch". No problem..pick-up at 7:50. We'll be a little late for school but, hey, it could happen to anybody. Unfortunately our "driver in a pinch" doesn't have authorization to drive onto the compound where the school is...so I'm going to see if we can't get him a pass also. Problem solved...I hope.

But, what if there were an emergency? Right here, right now? Somebody gets sick or, I don't know. I really don't even want to imagine. I can't go to the neighbor and ask him to take me anywhere. As I am not his wife (or daughter, or sister.....etc), I am not allowed to be in the car with him. So, maybe the 1 time out of 1,000,000,000,000 (I really want to add more zeros here because, well, nobody wants an emergency, right?) makes the full-time driver worth it??

I don't know.

Back to the Desert

We've now been back in Riyadh about a week after returning from vacation in Europe. It takes a little while to get back into the swing of things. I was actually wondering how it would feel to return to Riyadh after over two weeks away but it felt a little like coming home. Lots of unpacking, laundry, getting kids ready for school, going back to work, grocery shopping, you know, the usual.

The time back has reminded me of how friendly the people here are and how much they LOVE children. Just about everybody comments on the kids...it is really fascinating. The Saudis, Indians, Pakistanis, Sri Lankans, Filipinos...all are so incredibly, incredibly, in love with children, I have never experienced a place where person, after person, comments on, touches, asks if they can kiss, or otherwise SEES the kids. On the compound, however, I am a little weary. I am becoming increasingly skeptical about an environment in which children have so much freedom and seem for the most part to be raising themselves.

On our cul-de-sac there are 6 houses. In these 6 houses live at least 11 children. It could be more because I haven't really met two of the families yet. There are at least 4 nannies on our street. In general, the nannies are full-time/live-in nannies which pretty much means they work all day 6 days per week. Multiply all this by 50 and you pretty much have our compound. 300 homes, 550 children 150 nannies---conservatively.

Maybe because of the fact that we are walled in, parents seem to feel that their children are safer here than at home. I hear it quite frequently:

"Oh, it is such a safe place for children"
"We could never allow him/her to do at home what they can do here"
"He/she would never have the level of independence he/she has here"

So, much to my husband's dismay, I have started asking "why?"

It seems as though people believe that compound life in KSA is a safer environment than "home" for two main reasons. First the traffic, the independence of children is hampered by the amount of traffic back home. Second, risk of being "snatched", the independence of children is hampered by the risk of being kidnapped or worse back home.

I am not sure that this is really the case. At certain times of the day there are quite a few HUGE SUVs driving these streets and who is living in the compound but a bunch of random people from other countries? But more than this I am forced to ask myself: Are these the only dangers in the world for children? Is that the only job of a parent--making sure that kids don't get hit by cars or get kidnapped? And, what dangers are here that aren't present back home?

Increasingly, I am beginning to believe that the extent to which nannies are used to take care of children here is a ... danger. In an extreme and apparent class society, the nannies are little more than indentured servants. (And it seems as though many of the westerners here have forgotten where they come from and are perfectly comfortable in exploiting the balance of things.). Their job is not to raise children or help them learn valuable social lessons. Yet, here on compound, children spend the majority of their time with nannies.

I have seen children, pull the hair of, kick, hit and spit on nannies while the nannies laugh. I have seen children throw toys at babies while nannies sit and chat with each other. I have seen nannies ask children to behave while time and again the children don't listen. I have had children come home to us and ask for food when they have not been fed by their nanny. I have seen young children out wandering alone while groups of nannies congregate in the common area, etc, etc, etc

I am left wondering if living here is really much safer for children or if somehow people have been lulled into a false sense of security.

Or, maybe, I'm just too uptight.

Ramadan Kareem

Last night I had a dream. I was sitting in the back of my chauffeur driven car, riding down Göteborgsvägen when I spotted a Starbucks. (In this one sentence, my three worlds of USA, Sweden and KSA have collided) I asked the driver to pull over so I could get a coffee. He stopped and let me out and pulled away as there was no parking. As I walked up to the Starbucks I could tell right away that it was for men only. How could I tell? Well, through the glass windows I could see right away that there were no private seating areas. That is, tables with curtains or partitions around them. I decided to play dumb and walk in anyway.

"Sorry ma'am, this is the men's section"

I looked around, not really knowing what to do with myself (I really wanted a grande two-pump no whip extra hot mocha), and the man behind the counter nodded his head toward....when I looked it was another Starbucks right next door. It was right out the front door, the two cafés were looking at each other. (How did I not see that at the beginning of my dream??) I walked over and it was jam packed with people. I don't remember ordering my coffee...what I do remember was walking out up Göteborgsvägen to a large square where Krokslatt should've been.

Here, there was, what I would call a festival on Thailand. Flags were waiving, people were singing. It was lively and a lot of fun. I however, had to get to school to pick up my daughter so I decided to head back to the car. When I walked passed the woman singing, I heard her say (in Swedish) to her accompaniest "Kom igen, nu, vi kör denna igen". I thought, wow, that woman from Thailand can speak Swedish.

And, then I looked up and wondered, "Where is my car? I hope he didn't leave thinking I didn't need him any more. Where could he have gone??"

And then I woke-up.

Now, normally, I would be wondering "what does it mean" But today I am completely convinced that I know exactly what it means...it was a re-cap of my week.

First, I am drinking a lot of coffee. We purchased a Nespresso machine and it is just way too easy to get a good cup of coffee quickly. And KSA being what it is, we call to order more coffee and they deliver it, same day, to our doorstep...this is true for a lot of things...many restaurants deliver, yes, even McDonalds. There are grocery stores that will come and pick you up at your doorstep and take you to do your shopping and return you at home for free....I wonder if there is home delivery of groceries...I haven't checked into that yet.

Second, I think we have pretty much decided that we need a driver. So, we have been asking everybody that we can think of if they know anybody. I have asked everybody I know that has a driver if their driver has a friend who may need a job, I have asked the drivers that we have used and even drivers that I have seen regularly if they have friends that may be looking for work. No luck. With the decision to hire a driver we have decided not to have a full-time maid any more. That was a little difficult. Telling our maid that she should look for work elsewhere. She is from Sri Lanka and sends all of the money that she earns home so that her children can go to school. She returns home about once a year to see them. It really is a bizarre world that we live in.

Third, I had my first experience with not being able to go into an establishement because I was a woman the other day. We went out to get some take-out and went to a well known for Riyadh Lebenese restaurant. As soon as we pulled up I sensed that I wasn't going to be able to go in. The front of the restaurant was all glass and it was very well lit. I didn't see any booths only a few tables in the center of the establishment. My husband being a man doesn't really have to think about these things. I said to him, maybe you should go in and see if I can come in and if not you can bring a menu out. Sure enough, he came back right away with a menu. So, we sat in the car and looked through the menu, circled the items we wanted, and he went back inside to order. Then he came out and waited with me.

As I was sitting in the car watching all of the men get out of their cars, go in and order, and come out with there little packages of dinner to go, I tried to imagine, how it must be for the typical Arab.

It may seem from afar that women get the short end of the stick in this society but, I wonder if that is really the case in practice. Here, it is families that are the social network. When you go into a shopping mall, people travel in entourages...4, 5, 6 , people-- men, women and children walk together. Or, large groups of women, but, I have yet to see large groups of men doing things together. Even at this restaurant, that was men only, people were coming and picking up loads of food to take back to their, I can only assume... families. There weren't any groups of men just hanging out having a good time.

I also saw men with little girls with them. Daddys and daughters I assume. The little girls were allowed to run around in and out of the restaurant, no problem. I wondered how it must be for these little girls when they no longer get to go with daddy to pick up dinner. Is it a disappointment for these girls or is it a sign of maturity...something that many coming-of-age children long for--acknowledgement from their elders that they are no longer children. I don't know, it would be interesting to ask.

I have a difficult time believing today that this is an awful place for women. At least, I am not sure that it is any more awful for women than it is for men, especially young single men. (For young single men, I believe, although I don't know, that KSA is a rather difficult place to be) Before we came, everybody was suspicious about the treatment of women in this country. But when I walk around I see women holding their heads high, in control, warm, lively, outgoing, stylish, confident.....These attributes just don't seem to be in-line with a group that is oppressed and poorly treated as a whole.

But I have met (western) women here that say that they feel disgust when they see the women walking around in their abayas and hijab. What do they see that I don't? (and now as I write it I am thinking, am I that insensitive???). Of course, I am just brushing society, not in it.

I think the thing that may be most bothersome for me isn't the segregation of the sexes, isn't the abaya, isn't the hijab, isn't the not being able to drive. Getting a taxi here is no different than getting a taxi anyplace else, taking off my abaya when I go in to get my haircut is no different than taking off my coat when I come in from the rain..the segretgation is new, but I rarely notice it. What is most unsettling maybe is that those that would like something different are not able to leave here at will. That as a woman one must be given permission to leave the country. (I think that even Saudi men have to apply to exit but women need their husband or guardian to give them permission to exit). Even myself, a "free" (as free as any of us can be...which, if you have ever tried to move between countries, isn't very and aren't we all captive of our culture? and a laundry list of other things?) western woman needed my husband to apply for my exit visa.

OK where was I? Fourth, yes fourth. Fourth is that it is Ramadan. Which means (for us at least) NOTHING is happening. Everything is closed until 8:00 or 9:00 at night when it opens until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning...restaurants, shopping, beauty salons, etc, etc, etc. As Muslims do not eat during daylight hours during Ramadan the entire country has changed its rhythm--namely, night is day and day is night. People sleep later, and are up all night. Even our western Muslim expat friends who are here are not used to it. It must be so wonderful for them to have an entire country celebrating with them. We, however, still keep our normal routine. Up at 5am bed at...well, it is so early its embarrassing! Do I want to come in for a haircut sometime between 8:30pm and 3:30am??? I'd be snoring in the chair! So, I don't know, maybe my subconscious was longing for (a) a festival, (b) some excitement or (c) a vacation...which I am getting tomorrow..so problem solved :-)

Going to School in the Kingdom

Thanks so much for all of the emails!!! It is so fun to see that people are actually enjoying reading my little blog :-) . I wasn't really sure I had it in me (and really, I'm still not) but, the encouragement makes it easire for me to sit down and write a little bit about what is happening in our lives. Even those of you that write and say that I am terrible at updating the blog---you know who you are!!! In my defense, I have been slammed with an application for research funding at the same time that hubby has been away for work...but, application IN, hubby BACK! And, nobody has commented on spelling or grammer, or typos...and please don't. I'm getting this out of me as quickly as possible...I don't have time to proof-read :-)

So today (well, ok, I started writing this two days ago!) marks the end of our 5 year old daughter's first week of school. Yes, it is Wednesday. Here, Thursday and Friday are the weekend and the normal working week and school week starts on Saturday. It may go without saying that I was a little nervous-about school, not the weekend :-). Her school isn't too far away, about 20 minutes door to door but it seems much farther when I can't drive myself and can not count on a car being available at my beckon call, and of course the obsticle course of exiting and entering compounds makes everything seem much farther away than it actually is.

Wondering how the week went? Here's a re-cap:

First, I had to schedule a car to pick up our daughter. The plan was that my husband would drop her off and I would pick her up. In order for me to pick her up I had to find a driver that would come and pick me up, pick the car seat up and then go pick her up and bring us all home. There is a school bus here but it doesn't go to her school. She is the only child from this compound going to that school. The word on the street is that some parents send their children with drivers. This cuts the cost and the time dedication on the parent's side but, I prefer to be along for the ride. First I called the driver we usually use, and asked how much he would charge to take me to pick her up every day. His response was "expensive"...He wasn't kidding. He wanted about 1200 Riyals per month ($ 400 / 2500 SEK). So I called the compound and they said it would cost us about half that. So I scheduled a car through the compound.

I asked if we could have the same driver everyday and they said no..but then I provided them with a list of documents and information that they needed to provide in order to drive onto the compound to get to the school (OK, I started to write the list, but then my husband's voice in the back of my head saying "you can't do that" put a halt to my plans):

Just know, it was a long list--according to my humble standards...our compound then informed us that they would give me the details on two drivers so if one would happen to be sick or held up there would always be another driver available to pick up our little sunshine :-)

Day 1

On day 1 I thought it may be best to leave our one year old at home with the maid. So 75% of our family piled into the car while 25% stayed behind. I didn't like it. But, such is life. Our car was thankfully allowed to pass through the gates of the compound upon which the school is located (btw, my husband was also required to leave the long list of info/docs in order to be able to drive his car onto the compound).

The plan was that I would stay the day. Day 1 was a 1/2 day ending at 12.00, right after lunch. After about an hour my daughter had completely forgotten about me so I went to the restaurant and had a cup of coffee. Luckily there was another mom there that wanted to join me for coffe and wouldn't you know, she ended up being very nice and open and we had a really nice time. After coffee, we walked over to her house where we stayed until we walked back to pick up the kids. When the day ended...no car. Where was our car?? (And, where was the car seat??? Right, we forgot it in daddy's car...arrrghhhhh!)

I call my compound to find out where the car is:

"Its waiting at the parking lot ma'am, they wont let him come in"

What??!! The parking lot is outside of the compound outside of two checkpoints, we can't walk that far...(well, I could ---although, it would be HOT, HOT, HOT, remember I am in an abaya if I go outside of the compound--- but not the daughter). So, the school called a car from inside the compound to drive us outside of the compound so that we could change cars and go home.

WHAT A NIGHTMARE FOR A VERY IMPATIENT, LOOKING FOR THE MOST EFFICIENT WAY OF DOING EVERYTHING AT ALL TIMES PERSON SUCH AS MYSELF!!!!! OH HOW I HATE WAITING AND OH HOW I HATE HASTLES!!!! AND WHAT I HATE MORE THAN EXPERIENCING THESE THINGS MYSELF IS HAVING MY DAUGHTER EXPERIENCE THESE THINGS!!! ROSE PETTALS SHOULD FALL AT HER FEET AND SEAS SHOULD PART AT HER ARRIVAL. OK, maybe that was a little over the top but, really, it's 50 degrees out, she's been at a new school, new kids, new teachers...does she really now have to hop into a car with her stuff for a ride to another car, out in the heat, into the new car.....really??? This is certainly going to prove to be a test of my ability to let it go, go with the flow, and keep smiling :-)

Although she had a great time, the evening was spent doing lots of crying. I think it was the first day at the new school that really made her realize that she would not be going back to her old pre-school, she would not be spending the day with her favorite people, and that she was going to have to learn the ins and outs of this new environment. All good lessons in life, lessons that would come sooner or later, but I would be lying if I said my heart didn't hurt a little and the thought "have we done the right thing??" didn't cross my mind. So, after kids went to bed, mom called hubby and off-loaded! And you all know what that means :-)

Day 2.

Day 2 was a full day. 8:00am - 2:00pm. At 2:00am on Day 2, hubby had flown to Germany for work so the kids and I were solo. This meant that we had to have a driver for both drop off in the am and pick-up in the afternoon. I decided to bring little brother along so at 8:00 am, we piled a stroller, three packed bags, two car seats, two kids and a mom into the car that arrived. And, remember, even at 8:00am it is HOT outside!! Not plesant, not warm, HOT!! I hurridly put on my abaya in the car between our house and the gates. When we got to the compound where the school is located, they waved us right on. Right on! :-) We pulled up to the school and I wondered what to do about the car seats....take them in with me or...I asked the driver if he could have them in his trunk. He wasn't sure that he would be picking us up so he said that he would take them back to the house (good thing we have the maid, somebody always at home to open the door!!) and tell the afternoon driver to pick them up before coming to pick us up.

Day 2 was pretty similar to Day 1, after about 30-60 minutes at school, our 5 year old forgot I was there and was running around with her new found friends. And, watching her really put me at ease. I have experienced her previously as a leader. Often , her friends want to do what she is doing. She is often surrounded by lots of kids. And this morning I again saw this tendancy for the other kids to flock around her....she seemed in her element surrounded by a group of children showing them something that she was doing or leadning some sort of make-believe game. At the same time, our son was taking controll of the situation-- in there with the rest of the 5 year olds as if it was the most natural place in the world for him to be. I could have gone home and nobody would have noticed.

Insead, I phoned my new found mom-friend and asked if I could pop by. So, I spent the morning kid free, drinking coffee and chatting. Right before lunch I walked back to the school and went to lunch with the kids. It really seemed awfully luxurious for a pre-school lunch. The kids walked over to the restaurant, past the pools and recreation area and sat in the openness of the restaurant looking out over the swimming pools. Waiter's waiting to serve. On the walk over the principal asked

"Do you want to eat lunch with us?"

I was actually planning on sitting in another section and ordering my own lunch.

"Uh, I don't eat kids' food" I replied (Is that terrible????)

He told me that the food was good, so despite my better judgement I ate with them and IT WAS really good food. I was impressed!

At 12:00 we decided to leave school and go to one of the other childrens' homes. The kids played for a couple hours and then it was time for us to meet our driver. But, where was he??? We called a service car to take me to the parking lot. I asked if he could drive by the school first to see if our driver was there. The driver called to security and was told that our driver was waiting in the parking lot for us. So, into car #1 with stroller, 3 bags, 2 kids, and myself, abaya on and out into the real world. What did we find in the parking log? NO CAR. The man at the security said he didn't let any car on so I called my compound. Where is the car?

"He's waiting at the school, ma'am"

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, we waited while our car exited the compound, came to the parking lot and picked us up.

Oh, how I hope this gets easier!!!

Day 3

Day 3 was the first day I decided to return home after dropping of our daughter. The car came at 8:00 as usual, I put the two car seats in the car, didn't take the stroller because we would be returning home, didn't take a bag packed with necessitites for the day for the baby because we would be returning home, pilled in the kids, hoped in myself. This ritual takes 11 minutes from begining to end----yes, I timed it. 11 minutes in the heat, lifting, carrying, holding wiggling kids...bending over car seats and buckling....11 minutes!! Car arrives at 8:00 we leave the house at 8:11. I'm not a diva or anything but you know that feeling when you start the day sweaty and grimy and then over all of that sweat and grime I put on an abaya that just locks it all in...yum, fresh, disgusting (or how the 5-year old says it, excusting)!

Our little girl cried the entire way to school. She did not want me to leave. I tried to explain that there is no difference between me walking around, drinking coffee, visiting with people or going back home. I think she kind of got this. And, besides, I had no choice, I didn't bring a stoller or anything for little brother. She's rather a smart cookie though and told me that I could go back home and pick up all of these things and come back. I held firm though.

We were again let right onto the compound with a wave and a smile.

Her teacher is rather smart---or lucky (for me). He doesn't start the day with any "circle time" or any thing like that, they start by singing two songs...and then right away he has an activity for them that usually includes running around. As soon as this starts, she forgets about me because she is having so much fun. So after staying about 15 minutes I could say, ok I'm going to go now, kiss and hug. I get my kiss and hug and she bolts! I love it when I don't have to be the bad guy!

In the afternoon, the car came 30minutes early to pcik me up! So the daughter got to come home 1/2 an hour early. We were let right onto the compound with no problem. Ok, this IS getting easier!

Day 4

Day 4 was pretty much like Day 3. Minus the tears.....definately getting easier.

Day 5

Wednesdays are half-days at school. The kids go home at 12.00. This Wed the school had a swim day. I don't know about you but I am scared stiff of my kids drowning. In our compound there are 8 swimming pools! Our daughter's class is 10 kids with 1 teacher....I'm coming with. So, I packed up our usual 3 bags + 1 bag for swimming stuff, arm puffs, kick board, towels, etc. Carried out the stroller--yup, little brother is coming with, the two car seats, etc, etc. I was feeling rather proud of myself for getting everything out of the house and on the curb before the car arrived. But, then, I thought that the baby felt a little warm. Yup, FEVER!!!!! Oh, goodness....dilema, send 5 year old into harms way ( DROWNING IS THE SECOND LARGEST CAUSE OF UNINTENTIONAL DEATH AMOUNG CHILDREN IN THE US!!!!! ) and leave feverish one-year-old at home with maid OR send 5 year old alone despite my promise to go with and stay with baby??? Well, I chose option number 1..the drowning thing really gives me nightmares, I would never have been able to handle her going without me. I probably would have taken the little guy with us had it not been for the heat!! But, antoher day this week that I was extremely thankful for the maid!!!!!

The car was kindly waved onto the compound, no problem.

We swam and had a really GREAT time.

12:00 NO CAR. Where is the car???

12:15 I call my compound he's on his way

12:16 maid calls,

"Ma'am they wont let the car onto the compound. He's waiting outside"

"Tell him to try again, we are waiting here, we are not taking a car out and changing we are not moving! Tell him he must try again!"

I walk into the principal's office---call your security and tell them to let my driver on!!

12:20 Car arrives

"Ma'am, 20 minutes I been waiting!"

"Yes, but you need to call me and let me know if there is a problem. You drop us at the school, you pick us up at the school"

AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But hey, I'd say all in all week 1 was a success and it can only get better.

Grocery Shopping in the Kingdom

Certainly not all but, thus far at least, a good majority of my interesting experiences have happened while grocery shopping. The kind of experiences that make one stop and say, "Right, I'm not in Kansas any more." But then there are some not-so-strange experiences that have made me stop and say "Right, maybe Kansas isn't so unlike this place after all"

Then again, when was I ever in Kansas?

Take for instance the other day. I had promised my 5 year old a day out shopping. She really wants a Ken doll. (What was once dismay at the love for Barbi my daughter has developed is now utter admiration at how she can get so involved in play with 5 Barbis simultaneously---her imagination does not quit!). Anyway, here in the Kingdom Barbi can be found in a mass of varieties, there is also the Islamic verstion of Barbi, Fulla--she's also pretty snazzy. And then of course there are the Hanna Montana dolls, the High School Musical Dolls, and a gazillion no-name dolls that, well, I don't know the name of.

Not being able to drive I called our driver and asked if he could spend 1/2 a day with us. He took us around and no luck finding a Ken doll. We had some other errands, so we did those and then finished up at the grocery store. I had my cart filled with the items I wanted to buy and since it was a new store that we had never been to before we just killed some time looking around. There are some amazing sweets here and of course we had to put a couple of new varieties in our cart..and then, the eyes of a 5 year old spyed some fun girlie dresses and the toy section. Nope, no Ken doll. Then we mozied over the the check-out...right in time to see the doors lowering, the cashiers closing up shop and the lights dimming... PRAYER TIME!!! When will I learn??

In this country in which prayer heppens 5 times a day, there is no time for browsing, otherwise you get locked in where ever you are until prayer time is over. This wasn't the first time this had happened, but I was feeling rather dumb for not paying attention. I guess I have to start setting an alarm or something. I called the driver, told him we wouldn't need him for the next 45 minutes because we were locked in. Opened up some snacks and water for my duaghter and waited. Thank goodness she didn't need to go to the bathroom until after the doors opened!!!

Now, just in case you're wondering, we weren't the only people locked in. No, not every muslim runs off to prayer time at prayer time. But, places of business do close for prayer time at prayer time.

When the tills were opened again we were quickly shown to the front of one of the lines (I can only guess that because I am a woman and because I had a child with me, I got priority). The man in line behind us came over quickly and unloaded all of our groceries onto the band for us. This has happened many times. Nice, nice helpful people.

Then there was the time when neither my credit card nor debit card would work at the check-out at the grocery store. The check-out clerks were all very nice and helpful running this way and that trying to find a point-of-sale machine that would work..supervisors were coming by trying to fix the situation. Then, the woman behind me in line asked if I didn't just want to borrow the 700 (200ish dollars) some odd riyals and take her phone number so that I could call her when I wanted to pay her back. I ended up waking to the ATM while my bagged groceries waited for me and paid in cash. But, when has any stranger ever offered to pay for my grocieries before???

Today I planned a little bit better, or at least I thought. I called the driver and asked him to get us to the grocery store right before prayer time...then they could lock us in at the begining!! Yeah! Good thinking! So, we got dropped off and I said that we would be about an hour...My 5 year old and I started with the toy section...lots of Barbis, no Ken doll...no boy dolls for that matter. Then we shopped in the piece and quiet of a locked up grocery store. When we were coming out of the dairy section a woman stopped us and asked where we purchaced my daughters shoes. I was, I must admit, a little impressed with myself. I remembered the name of the mall and the name of the store :-) ...what a pro! Then my phone rang.

"Ma'am, please, 10 more minutes only"

I looked at the time...it had been 1 1/2 hrs since we had been dropped off, the driver had been waiting for us for 30 minutes !! I hadn't kept track of the time, and hadn't called to tell him we were running late. I suppose I could have asked him to come back later but, I really didn't want to wait for him to do something else and come back. So we headed for the check-out..hoping over, veggies, fruit, and bread.

I guess it will be a trip back to the grocery store tomorrow.