Its a Crazy World

In the almost 11 months that we have been here, we have gone through 3 drivers and are on number four. Driver number 1, or "old-old" driver, as I like to call him, was from Pakistan and drove his own car. He did not drive for us full-time. We all liked him but, he was forced to go back home to Kashmir due to illness.

Driver number two didn't last very long. He was from India. In addition to having a really bad attitude and disappearing, he called one day an hour before our six year old daughter was to be picked up from school and said he wasn't coming. That put an end to him.

Driver number three, or "old-new" driver, as I like to call him, is Saudi. We all liked him. He wasn't driving for us full-time either, but was seeing to our daughter's transportation to and from school. On the way home from taking her to school the other morning he says to me:

"You know madam, this driver here" pointing to a man standing by the curb, "he is no good. He is always asking me if I want to buy whiskey". For those of you who don't know, alcohol is forbidden in Saudi Arabia and having it comes with pretty high punishments. He continues, "I tell him yes, I buy a bottle. But then, he never comes with it...so I say forget it"

Then he goes on to tell me how alcohol is just trouble, many people drink too much and get into fights. He then tells me a story about a time he and his brother go to Egypt and his brother came home with 2 bottles of Black Label whiskey, which the brother thought they should drink. Old-new driver says to his brother, "No, it is too much, one glass is plenty..it isn't ice cream." Then he continues to tell me about what a responsible drinker he is, understanding the dangers of drinking too much (similar discussions have taken place about his superior driving skills) followed by:

"Madam, you remember that day that I came and your daughter was feeling a little heavy and I was speaking so much english, that day I had had two glasses of black label before I left to come pick you up"

DRIVER SAY WHAT?!

This is the same driver that "old-old" driver warned us (and when I say us, I mean me) not to trust.

Needless to say, old-new driver has been replaced by "new-new" driver who has survived almost a full week and I really hope he is going to work out well...it seems as if he will. Although yesterday I was fed up (today I am blaming that on my trip to the dentist) and when he asked "Madam, do you know how to drive" followed by "In Saudi Arabia women are not allowed to drive, our religion doesn't allow it. Women can be mothers and housewives only" I did want to rip into him a little. Not because I was personally offended or anything but (1) I was a little bit irritated by his naivety and (2) I was not 100% sure why he was saying this to me. Me a woman (and although I hate to admit it), a woman higher up on the food chain than he. (Today I think he was just trying to break the ice and chose a poor subject to start off with). At the time, I chose not to respond and gave him a vague, "Oh."

Sometimes I look at him and see a deep sadness. I wonder what it must be like to grow up in Bangladesh, one of the poorest countries in the world. A place where I can only imagine corruption and exploitation are the name of the game. Only to leave it at 16 to come to a country where Bangladeshi's are at the bottom in terms of status, where indentured servitude is alive and well, where the vulnerable and poor are exploited and abused.

He is 28 years old,

He has lived alone in Saudi Arabia for 12 years,

He speaks 5 languages,

He has not been home in 6 years,

His father died last year,

His mother wants him to get married,

He thinks decisions about marriage should be taken slowly as it is the most important decision in life,

He believes his sponsor is not a good man,

He does not talk about whether or not he likes Saudi Arabia because "what choice do [I] have?",

He believes that living in Europe is an unobtainable dream for him,

He believes hurricanes are acts of God,

He wonders if my husband and I married for love, and

He softens when he sees my children.

Our maid does not know if she will go home this summer...why? Because one of the families she works for has told her that they just can not manage without her for 20 days. They couldn't possibly take a substitue for those 15 hours. She works for them one day, five hours per week.

Is not seeing your family after a year more important than 15 hours of house cleaning? Who is this family that would make her worry about such a thing...make such a choice? Why are they not telling her,

Yes,

Of course,

Go home,

See your loved ones,

Have a nice time,

See you when you get back?!

Are they not giving her an unspoken threat...if you go, we may not take you back. Five hours per week. Is that not the rich taking advantage of the poor? Is that not unreasonable? May she never go home?

Again, I wonder, what is this crazy world we live in?