Going to School in the Kingdom

Thanks so much for all of the emails!!! It is so fun to see that people are actually enjoying reading my little blog :-) . I wasn't really sure I had it in me (and really, I'm still not) but, the encouragement makes it easire for me to sit down and write a little bit about what is happening in our lives. Even those of you that write and say that I am terrible at updating the blog---you know who you are!!! In my defense, I have been slammed with an application for research funding at the same time that hubby has been away for work...but, application IN, hubby BACK! And, nobody has commented on spelling or grammer, or typos...and please don't. I'm getting this out of me as quickly as possible...I don't have time to proof-read :-)

So today (well, ok, I started writing this two days ago!) marks the end of our 5 year old daughter's first week of school. Yes, it is Wednesday. Here, Thursday and Friday are the weekend and the normal working week and school week starts on Saturday. It may go without saying that I was a little nervous-about school, not the weekend :-). Her school isn't too far away, about 20 minutes door to door but it seems much farther when I can't drive myself and can not count on a car being available at my beckon call, and of course the obsticle course of exiting and entering compounds makes everything seem much farther away than it actually is.

Wondering how the week went? Here's a re-cap:

First, I had to schedule a car to pick up our daughter. The plan was that my husband would drop her off and I would pick her up. In order for me to pick her up I had to find a driver that would come and pick me up, pick the car seat up and then go pick her up and bring us all home. There is a school bus here but it doesn't go to her school. She is the only child from this compound going to that school. The word on the street is that some parents send their children with drivers. This cuts the cost and the time dedication on the parent's side but, I prefer to be along for the ride. First I called the driver we usually use, and asked how much he would charge to take me to pick her up every day. His response was "expensive"...He wasn't kidding. He wanted about 1200 Riyals per month ($ 400 / 2500 SEK). So I called the compound and they said it would cost us about half that. So I scheduled a car through the compound.

I asked if we could have the same driver everyday and they said no..but then I provided them with a list of documents and information that they needed to provide in order to drive onto the compound to get to the school (OK, I started to write the list, but then my husband's voice in the back of my head saying "you can't do that" put a halt to my plans):

Just know, it was a long list--according to my humble standards...our compound then informed us that they would give me the details on two drivers so if one would happen to be sick or held up there would always be another driver available to pick up our little sunshine :-)

Day 1

On day 1 I thought it may be best to leave our one year old at home with the maid. So 75% of our family piled into the car while 25% stayed behind. I didn't like it. But, such is life. Our car was thankfully allowed to pass through the gates of the compound upon which the school is located (btw, my husband was also required to leave the long list of info/docs in order to be able to drive his car onto the compound).

The plan was that I would stay the day. Day 1 was a 1/2 day ending at 12.00, right after lunch. After about an hour my daughter had completely forgotten about me so I went to the restaurant and had a cup of coffee. Luckily there was another mom there that wanted to join me for coffe and wouldn't you know, she ended up being very nice and open and we had a really nice time. After coffee, we walked over to her house where we stayed until we walked back to pick up the kids. When the day ended...no car. Where was our car?? (And, where was the car seat??? Right, we forgot it in daddy's car...arrrghhhhh!)

I call my compound to find out where the car is:

"Its waiting at the parking lot ma'am, they wont let him come in"

What??!! The parking lot is outside of the compound outside of two checkpoints, we can't walk that far...(well, I could ---although, it would be HOT, HOT, HOT, remember I am in an abaya if I go outside of the compound--- but not the daughter). So, the school called a car from inside the compound to drive us outside of the compound so that we could change cars and go home.

WHAT A NIGHTMARE FOR A VERY IMPATIENT, LOOKING FOR THE MOST EFFICIENT WAY OF DOING EVERYTHING AT ALL TIMES PERSON SUCH AS MYSELF!!!!! OH HOW I HATE WAITING AND OH HOW I HATE HASTLES!!!! AND WHAT I HATE MORE THAN EXPERIENCING THESE THINGS MYSELF IS HAVING MY DAUGHTER EXPERIENCE THESE THINGS!!! ROSE PETTALS SHOULD FALL AT HER FEET AND SEAS SHOULD PART AT HER ARRIVAL. OK, maybe that was a little over the top but, really, it's 50 degrees out, she's been at a new school, new kids, new teachers...does she really now have to hop into a car with her stuff for a ride to another car, out in the heat, into the new car.....really??? This is certainly going to prove to be a test of my ability to let it go, go with the flow, and keep smiling :-)

Although she had a great time, the evening was spent doing lots of crying. I think it was the first day at the new school that really made her realize that she would not be going back to her old pre-school, she would not be spending the day with her favorite people, and that she was going to have to learn the ins and outs of this new environment. All good lessons in life, lessons that would come sooner or later, but I would be lying if I said my heart didn't hurt a little and the thought "have we done the right thing??" didn't cross my mind. So, after kids went to bed, mom called hubby and off-loaded! And you all know what that means :-)

Day 2.

Day 2 was a full day. 8:00am - 2:00pm. At 2:00am on Day 2, hubby had flown to Germany for work so the kids and I were solo. This meant that we had to have a driver for both drop off in the am and pick-up in the afternoon. I decided to bring little brother along so at 8:00 am, we piled a stroller, three packed bags, two car seats, two kids and a mom into the car that arrived. And, remember, even at 8:00am it is HOT outside!! Not plesant, not warm, HOT!! I hurridly put on my abaya in the car between our house and the gates. When we got to the compound where the school is located, they waved us right on. Right on! :-) We pulled up to the school and I wondered what to do about the car seats....take them in with me or...I asked the driver if he could have them in his trunk. He wasn't sure that he would be picking us up so he said that he would take them back to the house (good thing we have the maid, somebody always at home to open the door!!) and tell the afternoon driver to pick them up before coming to pick us up.

Day 2 was pretty similar to Day 1, after about 30-60 minutes at school, our 5 year old forgot I was there and was running around with her new found friends. And, watching her really put me at ease. I have experienced her previously as a leader. Often , her friends want to do what she is doing. She is often surrounded by lots of kids. And this morning I again saw this tendancy for the other kids to flock around her....she seemed in her element surrounded by a group of children showing them something that she was doing or leadning some sort of make-believe game. At the same time, our son was taking controll of the situation-- in there with the rest of the 5 year olds as if it was the most natural place in the world for him to be. I could have gone home and nobody would have noticed.

Insead, I phoned my new found mom-friend and asked if I could pop by. So, I spent the morning kid free, drinking coffee and chatting. Right before lunch I walked back to the school and went to lunch with the kids. It really seemed awfully luxurious for a pre-school lunch. The kids walked over to the restaurant, past the pools and recreation area and sat in the openness of the restaurant looking out over the swimming pools. Waiter's waiting to serve. On the walk over the principal asked

"Do you want to eat lunch with us?"

I was actually planning on sitting in another section and ordering my own lunch.

"Uh, I don't eat kids' food" I replied (Is that terrible????)

He told me that the food was good, so despite my better judgement I ate with them and IT WAS really good food. I was impressed!

At 12:00 we decided to leave school and go to one of the other childrens' homes. The kids played for a couple hours and then it was time for us to meet our driver. But, where was he??? We called a service car to take me to the parking lot. I asked if he could drive by the school first to see if our driver was there. The driver called to security and was told that our driver was waiting in the parking lot for us. So, into car #1 with stroller, 3 bags, 2 kids, and myself, abaya on and out into the real world. What did we find in the parking log? NO CAR. The man at the security said he didn't let any car on so I called my compound. Where is the car?

"He's waiting at the school, ma'am"

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, we waited while our car exited the compound, came to the parking lot and picked us up.

Oh, how I hope this gets easier!!!

Day 3

Day 3 was the first day I decided to return home after dropping of our daughter. The car came at 8:00 as usual, I put the two car seats in the car, didn't take the stroller because we would be returning home, didn't take a bag packed with necessitites for the day for the baby because we would be returning home, pilled in the kids, hoped in myself. This ritual takes 11 minutes from begining to end----yes, I timed it. 11 minutes in the heat, lifting, carrying, holding wiggling kids...bending over car seats and buckling....11 minutes!! Car arrives at 8:00 we leave the house at 8:11. I'm not a diva or anything but you know that feeling when you start the day sweaty and grimy and then over all of that sweat and grime I put on an abaya that just locks it all in...yum, fresh, disgusting (or how the 5-year old says it, excusting)!

Our little girl cried the entire way to school. She did not want me to leave. I tried to explain that there is no difference between me walking around, drinking coffee, visiting with people or going back home. I think she kind of got this. And, besides, I had no choice, I didn't bring a stoller or anything for little brother. She's rather a smart cookie though and told me that I could go back home and pick up all of these things and come back. I held firm though.

We were again let right onto the compound with a wave and a smile.

Her teacher is rather smart---or lucky (for me). He doesn't start the day with any "circle time" or any thing like that, they start by singing two songs...and then right away he has an activity for them that usually includes running around. As soon as this starts, she forgets about me because she is having so much fun. So after staying about 15 minutes I could say, ok I'm going to go now, kiss and hug. I get my kiss and hug and she bolts! I love it when I don't have to be the bad guy!

In the afternoon, the car came 30minutes early to pcik me up! So the daughter got to come home 1/2 an hour early. We were let right onto the compound with no problem. Ok, this IS getting easier!

Day 4

Day 4 was pretty much like Day 3. Minus the tears.....definately getting easier.

Day 5

Wednesdays are half-days at school. The kids go home at 12.00. This Wed the school had a swim day. I don't know about you but I am scared stiff of my kids drowning. In our compound there are 8 swimming pools! Our daughter's class is 10 kids with 1 teacher....I'm coming with. So, I packed up our usual 3 bags + 1 bag for swimming stuff, arm puffs, kick board, towels, etc. Carried out the stroller--yup, little brother is coming with, the two car seats, etc, etc. I was feeling rather proud of myself for getting everything out of the house and on the curb before the car arrived. But, then, I thought that the baby felt a little warm. Yup, FEVER!!!!! Oh, goodness....dilema, send 5 year old into harms way ( DROWNING IS THE SECOND LARGEST CAUSE OF UNINTENTIONAL DEATH AMOUNG CHILDREN IN THE US!!!!! ) and leave feverish one-year-old at home with maid OR send 5 year old alone despite my promise to go with and stay with baby??? Well, I chose option number 1..the drowning thing really gives me nightmares, I would never have been able to handle her going without me. I probably would have taken the little guy with us had it not been for the heat!! But, antoher day this week that I was extremely thankful for the maid!!!!!

The car was kindly waved onto the compound, no problem.

We swam and had a really GREAT time.

12:00 NO CAR. Where is the car???

12:15 I call my compound he's on his way

12:16 maid calls,

"Ma'am they wont let the car onto the compound. He's waiting outside"

"Tell him to try again, we are waiting here, we are not taking a car out and changing we are not moving! Tell him he must try again!"

I walk into the principal's office---call your security and tell them to let my driver on!!

12:20 Car arrives

"Ma'am, 20 minutes I been waiting!"

"Yes, but you need to call me and let me know if there is a problem. You drop us at the school, you pick us up at the school"

AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But hey, I'd say all in all week 1 was a success and it can only get better.

Grocery Shopping in the Kingdom

Certainly not all but, thus far at least, a good majority of my interesting experiences have happened while grocery shopping. The kind of experiences that make one stop and say, "Right, I'm not in Kansas any more." But then there are some not-so-strange experiences that have made me stop and say "Right, maybe Kansas isn't so unlike this place after all"

Then again, when was I ever in Kansas?

Take for instance the other day. I had promised my 5 year old a day out shopping. She really wants a Ken doll. (What was once dismay at the love for Barbi my daughter has developed is now utter admiration at how she can get so involved in play with 5 Barbis simultaneously---her imagination does not quit!). Anyway, here in the Kingdom Barbi can be found in a mass of varieties, there is also the Islamic verstion of Barbi, Fulla--she's also pretty snazzy. And then of course there are the Hanna Montana dolls, the High School Musical Dolls, and a gazillion no-name dolls that, well, I don't know the name of.

Not being able to drive I called our driver and asked if he could spend 1/2 a day with us. He took us around and no luck finding a Ken doll. We had some other errands, so we did those and then finished up at the grocery store. I had my cart filled with the items I wanted to buy and since it was a new store that we had never been to before we just killed some time looking around. There are some amazing sweets here and of course we had to put a couple of new varieties in our cart..and then, the eyes of a 5 year old spyed some fun girlie dresses and the toy section. Nope, no Ken doll. Then we mozied over the the check-out...right in time to see the doors lowering, the cashiers closing up shop and the lights dimming... PRAYER TIME!!! When will I learn??

In this country in which prayer heppens 5 times a day, there is no time for browsing, otherwise you get locked in where ever you are until prayer time is over. This wasn't the first time this had happened, but I was feeling rather dumb for not paying attention. I guess I have to start setting an alarm or something. I called the driver, told him we wouldn't need him for the next 45 minutes because we were locked in. Opened up some snacks and water for my duaghter and waited. Thank goodness she didn't need to go to the bathroom until after the doors opened!!!

Now, just in case you're wondering, we weren't the only people locked in. No, not every muslim runs off to prayer time at prayer time. But, places of business do close for prayer time at prayer time.

When the tills were opened again we were quickly shown to the front of one of the lines (I can only guess that because I am a woman and because I had a child with me, I got priority). The man in line behind us came over quickly and unloaded all of our groceries onto the band for us. This has happened many times. Nice, nice helpful people.

Then there was the time when neither my credit card nor debit card would work at the check-out at the grocery store. The check-out clerks were all very nice and helpful running this way and that trying to find a point-of-sale machine that would work..supervisors were coming by trying to fix the situation. Then, the woman behind me in line asked if I didn't just want to borrow the 700 (200ish dollars) some odd riyals and take her phone number so that I could call her when I wanted to pay her back. I ended up waking to the ATM while my bagged groceries waited for me and paid in cash. But, when has any stranger ever offered to pay for my grocieries before???

Today I planned a little bit better, or at least I thought. I called the driver and asked him to get us to the grocery store right before prayer time...then they could lock us in at the begining!! Yeah! Good thinking! So, we got dropped off and I said that we would be about an hour...My 5 year old and I started with the toy section...lots of Barbis, no Ken doll...no boy dolls for that matter. Then we shopped in the piece and quiet of a locked up grocery store. When we were coming out of the dairy section a woman stopped us and asked where we purchaced my daughters shoes. I was, I must admit, a little impressed with myself. I remembered the name of the mall and the name of the store :-) ...what a pro! Then my phone rang.

"Ma'am, please, 10 more minutes only"

I looked at the time...it had been 1 1/2 hrs since we had been dropped off, the driver had been waiting for us for 30 minutes !! I hadn't kept track of the time, and hadn't called to tell him we were running late. I suppose I could have asked him to come back later but, I really didn't want to wait for him to do something else and come back. So we headed for the check-out..hoping over, veggies, fruit, and bread.

I guess it will be a trip back to the grocery store tomorrow.